


Raising Ryan

by ChangingbacktoBellamort500



Series: Raising Ryan [1]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Baby, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fake Marriage, Family Fluff, Female Friendship, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this for me but you all can read it to, Madelyn and Maeve friendship, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, True Love, real love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangingbacktoBellamort500/pseuds/ChangingbacktoBellamort500
Summary: After Becca dies in child labour with Homelander's son, Madelyn raises the baby with Homelander. Spinning to the public the pair are married, and cementing Homelander's image of the wholesome American hero that everyone loves.
Relationships: The Homelander | John/Madelyn Stillwell
Series: Raising Ryan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647478
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned to write 18 chapters but finished at 9 and have decided to turn those other 9 chapters into one-shots that can stand alone or be connected to this story.

Madelyn hasn't bitten her nails since she was a child, but she can't help herself doing it now as she sits on the blood-stained floor. It's a disgusting habit that up until five minutes ago she would have sworn she outgrew.

Jonah looks at her with 'what do we fucking do now' eyes. She doesn't know; she hadn't planned for this.

Becca Butcher wasn't supposed to die. She was meant to give birth, heal up and go off, raise the baby far away. But no, she had screwed up that plan by bleeding out everywhere.

Madelyn wonders for a moment how much of a monster she is that she cares more about her plans being a mess than she does a woman being dead.

A baby without a mother. 

“The boy is healthy, ” Jonah pipes up after a while. “Which is a blessing from this whole mess, ”. Madelyn has to bite back a bitter laugh. Doctor Jonah Vogelbaum, the man who had made Homelander into who he was pretending to care about a baby was funny in a twisted sort of way.

“I'll take the baby,” Madelyn blurts out. She's not sure why she said it, but once it was out there, her mind began to form a new plan. “He needs a mother,”. A baby would help along with her career the public loved the Vought wholesome family vibe they spun.

“What will you tell Homelander?” Jonah questions with a worried look on his face.

“The truth. That you got it wrong, he isn't infertile. His one stand with Becca has to lead to a son, that she died in childbirth, ” Madelyn answers, running her fingers through her hair. The only way out of this mess was to be upfront with Homelander now. The public was a different matter. “Of course, I'll run my plans by those higher up before I tell him anything,”.

She was certain they would agree to it. Madelyn knew how to wrap the pricks on eighty-two and Mr Edgar around her little finger. Homelander might be a little upset she didn't tell him about Becca being pregnant the moment she knew, but if he was then Madelyn would handle it. Most of the time she could wrap him around her finger too.

“Just be certain you know what you're doing Madelyn, ” Jonah softly pleads. “Once you start this you can't turn back. It can't be undone, ”.

* * *

For as long as she had known him, Madelyn had never known Homelander to be so quiet and still. She wasn't sure if it was the shock of finding out he had a son, he was capable of having children, or as of tomorrow as far as the world was concerned they were husband and wife with a newborn son that made him like this. Most likely a combination of all three.

Ryan cries in her arms. He had a bottle of a formula only a little while ago; she checks his diaper, and it's clean. Madelyn had spent her childhood raising her siblings, some from newborns she knew babies were sometimes fussy just because they were. There was no reason for it or at least one any grown-up could translate.

“Mommy's here, ” Madelyn soothes, rocking him gently in her arms. “It's okay. Everything is okay, ”.

Her words seem to snap Homelander out of the shocked trance he was in because he softly murmurs “Motherhood suits you, ”.

Madelyn lets out an icy laugh. “If I remember right when I told you I was going for IVF you told me I'd be a disastrous mother. Stormed out and oh yeah had a one stand which resulted in the baby holding, ”. She sees him flinch at her words. Part of her enjoys it, the other part feels guilty. He was the only man who ever made her feel like this. She both loved and hated him for it. But she would never tell him that.

“I didn't mean it. You know I didn't it was just thought of you carrying another man's baby, someone being able to give you the one thing I thought I couldn't. It hurt, ” Homelander confesses, looking apologetic. She knows this is probably the closest he's ever come to feeling guilty about anything in his life, but even now it still wasn't his fault, still, he deflects the blame from himself.

“I know, ” she sighs, looking down at a now quiet Ryan. “And I forgive you. We've been through too much for one mistake to fuck all that up, ”.

She doesn't blame Ryan for any of this. He was innocent in all of this mess.

Silence for a while stretches out between them until he comes over, sits on the floor, and rests his head on her knee before asking “The public believe I am with Maeve. Do you really think they are going to buy we are married and have a baby thing?”.

“The story is going to be that Maeve agreed to fake being in a relationship with you to give us privacy. We are going to spin what a brilliant friendship line, ” Madelyn answers, reaching down and stroking his hair. “The reason we are going public now is that we have a son together. I didn't know I was pregnant and showed no signs of pregnancy until I went into labour. An unexpected surprise that we are thrilled about, ”.

“Are you sure they'll buy it?” he questions, looking up at her with worried eyes. It's moments like this when she knows one word from her can either reassure him or break. Madelyn enjoys it more than she should.

“Yes, ” comes her firm reply. “You should really log onto the fan sites and the fanfiction sites and scroll through twitter because people have thought we had a thing going for years anyway, ”.

If she didn't think this would be successful she even attempted it, but Madelyn knew the public. It was her job to know them. She knew what they would buy story-wise, she knew what they wanted to hear. Once the forged marriage certificate came out, and the “friends” started giving stories to the press about their relationship she knew people would lap it up. His fan base would love the loving husband and now father image.


	2. Chapter 2

Jonah examines Ryan. Homelander stands in the doorway rigid with arms folded glaring at the older man. Madelyn knows and understands why he despises him, but Jonah is the best and most qualified doctor to ensure that the baby is healthy. No one had more knowledge of what was normal for a baby like Ryan than him.

If she were honest she would have preferred else, but there was no one else.

In the background, the television is on; the velvet show is on, and they are talking about them. A red-haired woman, Alyssa, Madelyn thinks her name is, smiles smugly. She had been saying for years that she and Homelander were together.

The panel pore over pictures of them in public, saying how obvious it was they were in love. One of the pictures they have is of a charity event from a few years ago, she remembers it well. The champagne, the dancing and the music, how he had trailed around after like a faithful puppy all night.

“He's perfectly healthy, ” Jonah declares happily, pacing Ryan back in his bassinet. He cooed at the boy, but Madelyn wishes he wouldn't. “I brought what you asked for. Do you want me to inject you now?”.

“The quicker it's done, the sooner it will work,” Madelyn replies, rolling up her sleeve. She bites her lip; she hates needles. As Jonah pulls out a vial from his pocket, Homelander stands there with a look of confusion on his face.

“What's going on?” Homelander asks, for a brief moment Madelyn is tempted to tell him “If you hadn't gone off flying at three this morning rather than help with your crying son you'd already know, ” but she doesn't. Part of her is furious with him and wants to hurt, the other part wants to protect him and can't bring herself to hurt him. It was very conflicting.

“Madelyn called me early this morning. Ryan isn't taking to the bottle the way she'd like so she asked if there was a way she could breastfeed him,” Jonah explains as he sticks the needle into her arm. A low hiss escapes Madelyn's lips. “This will start the process. Pretty quickly, actually, ”.

“She's not his biological his mother is it okay for her to breastfeed him?” Homelander questions, the fact the two men are talking about her as if she isn't there makes her want to slap them both.

“Yes. It's perfectly fine. It's called wet nursing,” Jonah explains, pulling the needle from her arm before wiping where he had injected her with a piece of cotton wool.

* * *

The public was desperate to see a picture of Ryan, so she uploaded a picture of his tiny hand holding on to her finger. Most of the comments were positive, a few troll comments, but Homelander's fans immediately went on to the attack on the people who posted them.

In a few days, she'd upload a picture of all three of them, once the hype had died down to restart it all over again. The timing was everything, to keep people interested but not overdone so they got bored with it.

Even though technically she was on maternity leave, she was still working from behind the scenes. The voice whispering in everyone's ear.

“I am going to take a shower, ” Madelyn tells Homelander who is flicking through the tv channels. “Ryan is sleeping if he wakes up then attempt' to settle him. That means pick up, not leave him to cry and go off flying, ”.

He looks slightly offended at her commitment, but she sees him visibly shrug it off. Maybe because he figures now isn't the time to pick a fight with her or maybe because the thought had crossed his mind to do just that.

* * *

The hot water feels fantastic against her skin. Madelyn closes her eyes and lets out a happy sigh. She needs this moment to herself to think without Ryan screaming his head off or Homelander needing her to reassure him that everything would work out fine.

It would, she was certain of this.

He was the reason this whole situation existed. It was him who had jumped into bed with another woman and gotten her pregnant, she had forgiven this. Mostly, because if Becca had lived she never would have told about the baby's existence.

Madelyn feels no guilt about it. His childhood had damaged him a lot and she had doubts he was ready to be a father. She still had those doubts. But she would make sure that he stepped up.

She puts shampoo in her hair, noticing the bruise forming on her arm from the injection from earlier. Madelyn hopes that one injection worked because she doesn't want to have a second one.

~~~~

They are lying in bed. Madelyn knows that any moment now Ryan will start crying for his feed. “You're leaking, ” Homelander whispers, nuzzling into her neck. “Do you know that?”.

“Yes. I was aware of that. Ryan is due a feed soon. I hope he takes the breast better than he did the bottle, ” Madelyn replies, before kissing him on the forehead softly.

Homelander stares at her chest with awe, curiosity, confusion, and want.

She kisses him on the forehead again, she feels his hand travelling up her thigh and then she hears Ryan crying. Homelander lets out a frustrated sigh and Madelyn laughs.

“Go get him for me, will you?” she asks, propping herself up. Of course, he does but muttering something under his breath about “That kid has the worst bloody timing, ”.

When he returns Homelander is holding the newborn is almost as if he were a bomb waiting to go off. Madelyn smiles, as he hands the baby over.

“Now you're going to be a good boy and latch aren't you, ” Madelyn cooed to the crying red-faced Ryan. It takes a minute or two before he manages it, but once he does, he suckles away content.

Homelander lays on the bed beside them. He strokes his son's cheek. It's the first real sign of affection she's seen him show the baby since he laid eyes on him. Madelyn takes it as a good sign.


	3. Chapter 3

Madelyn would slap Homelander if she a) didn't think he'd enjoy seeing her that riled up and b) it would hurt him. She had woken to find no him, no Ryan in the house. Madelyn for the first time, since she was eleven years old, had felt panic and fear; that gut-wrenching feeling she had as she walked into her house after school, the day her brother Teddy had died hummed through her body.

She couldn't explain why she felt it, she knew Homelander wouldn't hurt his own flesh and blood.

Someone else's child without a doubt, but never his own. Yet she had felt it, three minutes later when Homelander walked through the door carrying a sleeping Ryan, she felt like she could breathe again.

Madelyn had demanded to know where he had gone, snatching Ryan out of his arms and checking him over. Homelander had looked hurt by actions.

He had taken Ryan flying. It's not that she objected to him spending time with his son, but there were a million things that could have gone wrong.

What if he had dropped Ryan? What if it had made him sick? What if they had been hit by something?

Homelander was indestructible, but whether Ryan was still to be seen. How much of his father's powers he had inherited was still unknown. She didn't know where the hell they were either; Madelyn could happily throttle Homelander at this moment.

He doesn't think he's done wrong, but then he never does.

Ryan must have sensed the tension because he woke and started crying. Madelyn holds him and whispers “It's okay, I'm not angry with you. It's your daddy who is an idiot, ”.  
She knows Homelander heard what she said with his hearing it would be impossible for him not to have.

He looks like he's about to open his mouth and say something, but then closes it again and looks confused by her anger.

“Are you hungry little guy?” Madelyn asks softly. She knows he can't answer her, can't understand her yet but she knows the baby likes hearing her voice. “Okay, let Mommy sit down and she'll give you your breakfast, ”.

She babbles and coos at Ryan as she wanders into the living room. Homelander is left standing there confused.

* * *

Ryan had been fed, cleaned, and now was sleeping soundly in his bassinet. Like most newborns, he ate, cried, slept, pooped a lot. Unlike most newborns, he could fire lasers from his eyes which he had done when she put him down after his feed because he still wanted to be held. He truly was his father's son.

Homelander was pacing back and forth in the living room while she typed away on her laptop. Catching up on emails, handling Homelander's social media accounts, skimming through news sites to make sure none of her heroes was involved in a scandal.

Her anger from this morning had long fizzled out. Part of wanted to apologise for overreacting another part of her disagreed and thought she had underreacted.

She had grown used to his pacing years ago, and it no longer irritated her. He did it when he was bored, restless, angry or anxious about something.

“Ashley has me booked in to do a tv interview tomorrow, ” Homelander tells her, running his fingers through his hair. She can sense the lack of enthusiasm about it in his voice.

“No. I have you booked in for an interview tomorrow, ” Madelyn replies, not looking up from her laptop. “I will go through the questions with you later. Lucas is an old friend, so he's agreed to only ask questions approved by me, ”.

She doesn't need to look up to know he's pouting because he doesn't want to do it, glaring because she called Lucas an old friend.

The fact Homelander was more Lucas's type than she ever would be was irrelevant, he got jealous of over men, anyone that he thought might take her away from him. Some days she found it cute, others it was headache-inducing.

“Do I really need to do the interview?” He whines, before sitting beside her in a huff.

“Yes, ” Madelyn can sense that he isn't going to drop it so she clicks save before closing her laptop, putting it on the coffee table. “I know you hate these things, but I need you to do this. It's important. Bethel Inc is close to making a movie of your battle with Doctor Evans. The money that will be made is a fuckload, okay and this interview will push them finally into making it, ”.

Madelyn knows that she will get a promotion if Bethel Inc will make that film. A step closer to one day leading Vought completely.

He sits there with his arms folded, sulking like a child that's been told they can't have a toy. Madelyn knows when he's like this that he has a habit of doing the event, but screwing it up out of spite. Leaving her with one almighty mess to clean up.

Madelyn rests her head against his arm. “Please for me, ” she pleads, her soft and sweet. Her hands undoing the top buttons of her shirt, she can feel his eyes fixed on her chest. He was easily manipulated and placated into things. “It will make me happy. If I'm happy then I can make you happy, ”.

She hears his breathing change, Madelyn knows inside his head Homelander is listing the things that she can do that will make him happy. His cheeks are flushed a soft pink, his tongue darts out briefly across his lips.


	4. Chapter 4

“When did you first know that you loved Madelyn,” Lucas asks, this isn't one of the approved questions that he was supposed to ask. Madelyn glares at the tv host through the screen while trying to wind Ryan.

Homelander doesn't look flustered by the unexpected question which Madelyn sees a good sign. Neither had ever told the other they loved each other, but she was sure as much as he could love someone he did love her. Madelyn was also certain as much as she could love anyone she did love him.

“I knew for sure I loved her when we were designing my cape. I wanted the American flag, she wanted pure red, ” Homelander answers, there is a softness in his voice that she had never heard before. “It was long before we got together, but I knew then  
and there she was the woman I wanted to marry and raise a family with, ”.

“I remember her telling me about that, ” Lucas declares happily. He has the I'm about to drop gossip look on his face. “She had just started at Vought and you were all she talked about which should have been the first sign to me she liked you I don't know how I missed it, ”

Those in the audience are gripped, Madelyn can see it as the camera briefly pans to them. Homelander looks smug. He hadn't known that in the early days of their working relationship he was all she talked about. Madelyn groans, he was never going to let her live that down.

“Anyway, I remember one evening her being mad about the cape thing. So, I asked if your idea was terrible. Madelyn was like no it's way better than mine and I should have thought of it. I'm just not going to tell Homelander that, ”.

Homelander chuckles. “That sounds like my wife alright, ”.

Madelyn rolls her eyes just before Ryan decides to spit up all over her.

* * *

Homelander wasn't back yet; he was probably flying to relax somewhere. She didn't mind, the interview had gone well and he was entitled to unwind.

Maeve had come over with a bottle of wine which Madelyn had declined to drink because she was breastfeeding Ryan and didn't want to take the risk.

Now they were sitting in the living room, Maeve had finished the bottle of wine by herself. Madelyn thought Maeve drank far too much, but there were worse vices to have and so far it hadn't impacted her ability to do her job.

“You know until I saw him I didn't believe Ryan existed, ” Maeve tells her, reaching for the glass of scotch Madelyn had poured her a moment before. “A fake baby would definitely be a thing you would do,”.

“You have such a low opinion of me, ” Madelyn laughs. She's not hurt by Maeve's words, unbeknownst to her in a way she's right. Ryan is her fake baby, the only true thing the world knows about him is that Homelander is his father. Madelyn for a moment thought about telling Maeve the truth about it all, but the fewer people who knew the truth the better.

“I know you that's why. Although clearly not as well as I thought, ” Maeve replies, taking a sip of her drink. “I mean I knew Homelander had a thing for you. Hell, he never shuts up about you. He's either praising the ground you walk on or complaining about you, but I never thought you returned those feelings, ”.

“I wanted to keep my professional life and personal life as separate things,” Madelyn responds, she's telling the truth, for the most part, it is why she'd always preferred to keep their relationship private. “He struggled with that. How I could treat him differently at work. Well, you know what he can be like, ”.

Maeve snorts “God, do I. Fake dating him was hard enough bloody work, ”. 

Madelyn smiles remembering all the times she'd burst into her office complaining how Homelander was impossible to work with.

* * *

“You know technically you just stole your newborn son's food, ” Madelyn softly informs Homelander as she wipes milk off his lips with her thumb. His cheeks are flushed pink with genuine happiness; he flashes her a smile that says “I would do it again in a heartbeat.”.

She goes to put on her shirt, Homelander grabs her wrist and shakes his head no. “I want you to stay like that for a while. I like looking at you, ”.

Madelyn rolls her eyes, he really would have her walking around shirtless all the time if he could. Still, he did well in his interview with Lucas so she indulges him. He drops her wrist when he's certain that she isn't going to go for her shirt again.

They sit in comfortable silence and Homelander grows bored of that he rests his head on her lap. He doesn't have to ask her to stroke his hair because instinct tells her to do it. She learnt long ago to be attuned to what he wants, what he needs. Homelander lets out a happy content sigh as she runs her fingers through his hair.

Madelyn keeps her ears strained for any peep that Ryan is awake, but she hears nothing. She figures they have anything from a minute to an hour or somewhere in before he wakes up crying. Madelyn was beginning to notice a pattern of when he slept, cried, wanted feeding or changing. A good thing she thinks, because then she could plan things around him. Everyone always said, “As soon as a baby is on a schedule the better, ”.

She feels Homelander's lips press against the bare flesh of her out thigh before he says “So about what Lucas said earlier. You really talked about me a lot huh,”. He sounds so smug and cocksure of himself. “If I had known this I would have made a move much sooner,”.

“First off, I made the first move if I had waited for you then I'd still be waiting and secondly I didn't talk about you all the time. I ranted about how difficult and annoying you were my love, big difference, ”.

Homelander fakes being hurt for a second or two before grinning up at her. She loves this side of him, the playful side of him. He doesn't show it often.


	5. Chapter 5

The thunder roars and Ryan screams, not cries but screams in Madelyn's arms. His cheeks bright red from frustration that Madelyn can't make the noise go away. If she could then she would do it in a heartbeat.

She sees a flash of lighting through the window. Madelyn had always found it pretty, nature striking out from the sky. If she were alone she'd go outside, breathe in every scent of the storm, listen to every unique sound. But she can't leave Ryan, even if he were sleeping soundly and not screeching like a tiny demon.

Homelander should have been home ages ago but isn't, and Madelyn can only assume he's flown to somewhere where there is no storm going on to avoid the noise. She doesn't mind because she knows how uncomfortable thunderstorms are for him, but for the first time she's truly floundering with Ryan.

Madelyn doesn't know what he would be able to do that she couldn't, but it would be nice at the very least to have someone she could take out her frustrations out on.

She wonders if she were his biological mother if he would let himself be soothed by her now. If it were Becca rocking him in her arms, would he have settled by now?

Can he sense the arms that cradle him didn't carry him inside her for nine months?

“I can't control the weather, little one, ” Madelyn murmurs stroking Ryan's cheek. “Vought employed a hero who could once, but he challenged your daddy to see who was the most powerful, and that did not end well for him.

Ryan continues to scream, but Madelyn babbles to him anyway. “My entire office had to be rebuilt after that incident. I had to come up with a convincing story for the public how he died, put together a spectacular funeral and design a limited feature action figure. Did anyone appreciate me doing all of that? The answer is no, ”.

Another clap of thunder, further away this time. Madelyn knows it won't be long until the storm is over. All storms eventually have to come to an end.

“When you grow up you're not going to cause me trouble, are you?” Madelyn asks, she knows Ryan isn't going to answer her even if he could understand a word she was saying which she doubted.

But he's no longer screaming just small cranky sobs. “No. You'll be an angel. I can see it already, ”.

* * *

It was past midnight when Homelander finally made it home. Madelyn was feeding Ryan, the baby suckled happily and greedily. His screaming fit felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality, it had only been a few hours. Right now, he's happy and content. She's grateful for that. Madelyn doesn't like to see babies distressed.

She doesn't bother demanding where Homelander has been all this time as he sits on the bed and takes off his boots.

Madelyn can't deny she's tempted, but the voice of her mom screaming at her dad and begging to know where he had been half the night rang inside her head. The insanity, the desperation, and the sadness in her voice booming throughout the house. She would have been four or five then, but the blonde remembers it so clearly and refuses to become like her mom; long ago she had sworn she would never be like her.

“How's he been today?” Homelander asks, gazing at his son, before giving her a peck on the check. She catches the scent of car fumes, dust, leaves and rain clinging to him. It's the aroma of the outside world.

“Fine. Apart from during the thunderstorm, it seems he has inherited your dislike of them,” Madelyn answers, Homelander rests his head against her shoulder.

“I would have been here, but Translucent got himself into trouble I had to sort out, ” Homelander explains, Madelyn doesn't know how to describe to him that she's relieved that he told her without her having to ask or that he hadn't flown somewhere to avoid the storm. That he hadn't been selfish.

“Do I even want to know what he did?” Homelander shakes his head no against her shoulder. Madelyn inwardly groans. The sooner she's back at work the better. Except she had to time it right so the public didn't think she was choosing work over her baby.

“Ashley told me to remind you about a family photoshoot tomorrow, ” Homelander pipes up after a while. “By told I mean she half stuttered the entire thing, ”.

Ryan has finished feeding him, Madelyn softly tries to wind him. “Well, she is terrified of you, ”.

“I know and I love it, ” He replies with a grin. “Do you want me to put stink bug in his bassinet?”.

“Yes. But stink bug, really?” she asks, handing Ryan over gently. He looks ready to sleep.

“Kids need affectionate nicknames from their parents, ” he shrugs. “You named him so I thought I'd come up with his nickname and I think it fits him,”.

She doesn't tell him that Becca had picked the name Ryan and that she didn't have the heart to take the dead woman's son and rename him. After all, it's the only thing she would ever give the boy.

“I suppose I can live with the nickname, ” Madelyn finally replies as he walks out of the bedroom door.

“Come on then stink bug, ” she hears him murmur to the child. “Let's get you to bed, ”.


	6. Chapter 6

Madelyn cradles Ryan; her head rests on Homelander shoulder as the photographer takes a picture. Homelander grins, a big cheesy grin that the public loves so much. She doesn't think the public has ever seen his genuine smile.

He wears his Homelander costume, and she wears a summer dress. His hand rests on her knee, gloveless for once to show off a wedding ring.

Madelyn's smile is softer, the type that the public prefers from a woman. The gentle motherly smile; that she perfected long ago. It's a smile they can trust and they do.

Ryan is awake, but content. He looks adorable dressed in a Homelander costume babygrow. They are the image of wholesome, sunshine and baseball, perfect American family. The type others will strive to be like. The cute, content baby, the woman behind the powerful man, and the powerful family man.

It's the image Madelyn wants the world to see. The old saying the camera doesn't lie which is true, but the people in front of it do.

The fact the pair had enough blood on their hands to fill a room was irrelevant, it's the image the world saw that mattered. She knew later on people would pour over this picture, analyze every look and touch. A thousand different interpretations of their relationship will be published and none of them right.

* * *

“We are still trending on well pretty much everything, and from that one photo there are now nearly a hundred different articles dissecting our relationship, ” Madelyn tells Homelander as he wraps his arms around her waist as she washes up the dishes. “Oh, and the Homelander baby grows have sold out like two minutes after the picture was posted,”.

Madelyn couldn't be happier with how the day had gone more importantly Mr Edgar was ecstatic with how the day went.

He hums with approval into her neck before kissing down her neck, soft and gentle kisses which are ghost touches on the flesh. “You are being oddly affectionate right now, ” Madelyn comments a mixture of suspicion and playfulness.

“Would you believe me if I said I'm just extremely happy right now, ” He says, his hands moving to her hips.

“And I am delighted that you're happy, ” Madelyn replies, for a moment indulging him. Letting his hands wander, kiss her neck. “But I am busy, ”.

Madelyn had considered hiring a cleaner at some point, but the thought of a stranger inside her homemade her uneasy. What with her attention being focused solely on Ryan the last few days it meant things like the dishes weren't done, there were piles of laundry that needed to be done.

"Be busy later, ” He whispers mischievously in her ear. “I need your attention and affection right now, ”.

Madelyn rolls her eyes. “I am still busy unless you're going to do the housework around here later, ”. His body radiates warmth and want as his body pressed into her.

“I promise you I will ensure all the housework is done. Everything will be gleaming, ” he swears, his hands fiddling with the buttons of her shirt.

Madelyn knows he's lying through his teeth right now. He would promise anything, she knows as she lets him unbutton her shirt that he'll either leave the housework to her anyway or he'll do such a terrible job that she'll have to step in and do it anyway.

* * *

“Do you ever think we should get married for real?” Homelander asks out of the blue as she's getting dressed.

He's looking at her, eyes scanning her face for every flicker of emotions and she's thankful that out of one of the many powers he has mind-reading isn't one of them.

Madelyn knows if she says no it will hurt him, he wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't important. If she avoids answering it will be something that he fixates on.

He'll make it into an issue that it isn't. It doesn't matter that she's always been faithful and he hasn't or all of the things she has ever done for him, his mind would spin up that she doesn't care about him. No, not answering would be worse than saying no.

“Truthfully, I love what we have. As complicated and messed up as it sometimes is, but if getting married for real is something that you wanted then I object to it, ” Madelyn explains the best she can. “But I wouldn't say yes at this moment either. Purely because I'd want a real, thought out proposal,”

And it's true, if they were to get engaged and then married for real she would want him to propose in a way that showed her that he knew her.

She watches his face, he seems satisfied with that answer. “Anyway, I would like Ryan to be a bit older. As much as I love him I couldn't leave him right now to go on a honeymoon and going away with a baby his age is just stressful, ”.

Almost as soon as she had said his name Ryan began to cry. It was like he had some sixth sense when she spoke about him and cried to say “Hey, yes that's me please come and hold me, ”.

“I'll go and get stink bug while you finish getting dressed, ” Homelander says, kissing her on the cheek. It was a chaste and brief meeting of lips to the flesh.

* * *

Ryan had needed a fresh diaper which Madelyn had to change. She found both funny and frustrating that Homelander who had once ripped out a man's heart and kept for a week was grossed out by a messy diaper.

After he was clean she gave him a feed, he was such a greedy thing for something so small. Once he had been fed and burped Homelander wanted to take him flying she had said no but comprised he could hover with him in his arms, inside the house where she could see and know he was safe.

So that's what Homelander was currently doing while she finished the washing up and put laundry on that he had sworn he'd do, but she knew wouldn't.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan had woken Madelyn up one thirty in the morning screeching like a demonic bat in pain. His cheeks bright red and stained with tears. He had a temperature, not a particularly high one but enough to worry Madelyn and call Jonah to check him over.

Homelander thought she was overreacting, but Madelyn thought it was better to be safe than sorry. Jonah wasn't happy about having to come to her' house that time of night, but the doctor didn't voice his displeasure.

It turned out Ryan had a mild ear infection nothing that couldn't be cleared up with the pink coloured liquid antibiotic he prescribed.

Once she knew a pharmacist was open she sent him to collect the medicine, the fact he went to an entirely different state to get it was the first clue that he was trying to avoid being home. She didn't blame him for not wanting to be at home.

Ryan was sick and cranky, she was stressed and snappy because he was sick and cranky. It wasn't the greatest of atmospheres.

She could live with him wanting to avoid the pressure of it all, but what Madelyn objected to was the excuses that got weaker and weaker with which each new one he used.

"I crave a strawberry yoghurt that a store specifically only sells in Chicago, "

"I went to Las Vegas on the way back from the store to rescue a kitten stuck on a roof, "

Madelyn was left holding the baby, literally because every time she put him down his face would screw up, he would let out a howl that a banshee would be proud of, and shoot red lasers from his eyes. He was truly his father's son in that regard if you don't have your own way just keep lasering stuff until you get it.

The difference between the two Ryan had no control over it yet or at least she didn't think he did.

* * *

“Hush little guy, ” Madelyn murmurs, rubbing his back gently. Of course, he doesn't. He fusses in her arms. “How about we go for a walk around the garden? All you have to do is lay in your pram for a little while, ”.

She's not how, but she's certain he understands her because when she puts him in his pram, he doesn't try to laser anything. Madelyn takes this as a good sign.

Madelyn hums softly as she pushes the through the door to get outside. She doesn't know the name of the tune only that it was something she remembers her Aunt humming when she was a child.

It's neither hot nor cold, it's that rare perfect in-between weather. The air smells of dirt and honeysuckle with a hint of food cooking on a barbecue somewhere. Madelyn breathes it in as strolls up the path with the pram. One of the greatest things about having wealth is being able to afford a giant house with an even bigger garden; meaning she could take a nice long walk without once leaving her property and bumping into people.

Ryan seems to enjoy being pushed around the garden, maybe it's the new smells and sounds that he's trying to work out is distracting him from crying for a moment. She isn't sure, but she's just glad he's quiet for a moment.

It feels so good to actually be outside, to feel the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze against her skin. The grass beneath her bare feet.

There are a billion things she needs to do inside the house, phone calls to make and emails to answer but all of that can wait for a moment.

Ryan is slowly drifting off to sleep. At this moment he looks like a tiny angel. If she had to pick a sibling he reminded her as a baby it would be Michael. He too looked like an angel but cried like a demon.

Madelyn hadn't loved Michael the way she did their brother Teddy or the way she loved Ryan now, but she had a soft spot for him. Most likely because he didn't resemble their parents in any way in looks (she had often had her suspicions he had a different father to her and the others) or personality.

He was different like her, only people seemed to like his difference more than hers. Michael was dubbed unique, where she dubbed as strange and odd. If Ryan was strange and with her and Homelander as his parents, he was bound to be Madelyn swore she would never let him feel the loneliness she had as a child or even worse the loneliness Homelander had.

She isn't sure really why she's thinking of the brother she hasn't seen or spoken to in years, perhaps, it's parenthood making her put her past into perspective.

* * *

“You have been very quiet this evening, ” Homelander remarks. He was finally home after running out of weak excuses to go out.

“Just tired, that's all, ” Madelyn replies resting her head against his shoulder. “I don't know whether you this, but babies are hard bloody work,”.

He reaches out for her and pulls her onto his lap, something he had never done before but Madelyn wasn't complaining. “I do know that and you're an amazing mother to our son, ” the word “Our, ” was spoken firmer than rest. His way she supposes of saying that while Ryan wasn't biologically hers it didn't matter. If the roles had been reversed knows he wouldn't have raised another man's child she was raising his.

But then out of the two of them, he had always been the more selfish. Still, she loved anyway. A small happy sigh escapes her lips as mindlessly begins twirling her hair in between his fingers.

Her head rests on his chest, her ear pressed where his heart is. She listens to it thump away in his chest as she lets herself drift off to sleep in arms.


	8. Chapter 8

Ashley had phoned Madelyn begging her to come into work to deal with a situation. Homelander was dealing with a hostage situation in San Francisco, which meant she had to bring Ryan into the office with her. Luckily this was one of his non-fussy days. She had packed his blankie and his current favourite toy which was a panda teddy given to him by Black Noir which hoped would soothe him if he got cranky.

She left him with Maeve while she went to a meeting to fix what Ashley had described as "Unfixable, ". Madelyn had enjoyed letting everyone know that motherhood had in no way made her softer, snarling and demanding at people until there was a solution.

Madelyn couldn't deny she thrived off the whole thing, feeding off the power of making men twice her size in height and strength quiver in fear. But a big part of her had also missed Ryan, she worried about him. Was he hungry? Was he crying because he missed her? Was Maeve coping okay with him? All these thoughts went through her head.

Once she had tied up, all the loose ends, she went to find Maeve and Ryan to find Maeve holding him while Translucent turning invisible and then visible in an improved version of peek a boo.

Ryan laughs, his first laugh at only twelve weeks old and most babies hit that mark around four or five months. Jonah had said it wasn't uncommon for the children who had at least one parent that had been exposed to compound V to milestones early.

Madelyn feels a rush of pride and love for her son that makes her want to cry, she wouldn't because she would never be the type to cry in public.

“How was Ryan while I was working?” Madelyn asks, strolling up to Maeve who hands Ryan to her. Madelyn couldn't put into words how good it felt to have her son in her arms.

“Cried a lot, ” Maeve replies. “But even worse your son seems to like Translucent which proves he has zero taste,”.

Maeve and Translucent have a strange relationship. They'll go on a week longer bender together, but Maeve would push him into an active volcano if she could.

“Hey!, ” Translucent cries out insulted. “You're just jealous because I could get him to stop crying, ”. He pulls a face at Ryan who once again laughs. It's the cutest sound.

“Now, now children don't fight, ” Madelyn comments, rolling her eyes at the pair. “Now stink bug lets get you to my office so I can give you a feed then we will go home, ”.

Madelyn cooed at Ryan as she walked to her office leaving Translucent and Maeve to bicker once she was out of earshot which she knew they immediately would. 

* * *

Homelander had come home covered in blood. She doesn't ask who the blood belongs to as she grabs a baby wipe and cleans his face with it. This isn't the first time he's come home stained with blood, there have been times when she's found pieces of flesh and once a tooth in his hair. It doesn't bother her anymore.

It's one of those things she has come to accept as being part of his job. The same way he has accepted things concerning hers.

“Translucent told me you had to go to Vought towers today, ” Homelander says, as she wipes the last piece of blood from his cheeks. “He also told me Stink bug likes him more than Maeve, our son has strange tastes, ”.

Homelander looks puzzled at how that could be and makes her want to laugh. She was never sure whether Homelander liked or hated Translucent. Maybe it was somewhere in between both, Madelyn wasn't sure it really mattered. 

“I just think he's fascinated by the fact he can turn invisible, ” She replies with a smile. Most young children found Translucent doing that amazing. “I wouldn't have gone in, but Ashley sounded so panicked plus it was good to make my presence felt for when I do return, ”.

“I am sure you reminded everyone of why they feared you in the first place, ” he replies, pulling her close to him. He has that look in his eyes which says “Ryan is asleep, we have time to ourselves let's make good use of it,”.

Madelyn kisses him. His lips taste of strawberry slushie and peppermint. He smells of blood, dust and ice cream.

“You make me sound like I am so kind of a monster, ” she whispers once they stop kissing.

“A very hot monster, ” he teases undoing the button of her shirts. “A very, incredibly hot monster, ”.

* * *

It's three o'clock in the morning. Madelyn had just put Ryan back into his bassinet after feeding, winding and then gently rocking him back to sleep. She's too wide awake to go back to sleep; Madelyn knows she will regret it at some point tomorrow, but she decides to clean instead.

There is so much that needs to be done that she can't really do in a day while juggling Ryan, phone calls, etc. She's thought about hiring a nanny but palming Ryan off onto a stranger makes her feel uneasy. Madelyn was also certain Homelander would be uncomfortable with the idea.

She's finished the washing up, made a start on the laundry, washed down most of the kitchen and dusted the living room. Madelyn is feeling proud of herself, but unsure where her middle of the night burst of energy has come from.


	9. Chapter 9

They were attending a charity event, Ashley was babysitting Ryan; this was the first event they had attended as a couple or at least the first event as the public knew about them being a couple. Madelyn is wearing a red dress with blue painted nails. Homelander is in his usual attire, the only difference he isn't wearing his gloves. He wants the world to see the wedding ring.

Madelyn feels a tinge of guilt at being here and having a good, leaving Ryan at home, but she's also enjoying the adult company and the atmosphere. Ashley would phone her if anything was wrong so she tries to relax.

She's drinking orange juice instead of champagne' like everybody else is.

Homelander has been by her side throughout the night, it will look great tomorrow when all the pictures being tonight are published. It feels strong being so open that they are together, occasionally she'll catch the eye of a younger woman staring at her with jealousy burning in her eyes; Madelyn couldn't lie it was great for her ego.

“How long do we have to stay here until we have performed our duty and can duck out?” Homelander asks in a low voice. His cheesy grin never once falters, the mask for the public never slipping.

She had taught him well. Never let anyone see what you are truly feeling.

“At least another hour, ” Madelyn replies before taking a sip of orange juice. “Relax and try to have fun, ”.

She knows he hates these things. He hates how fake the people are, hates the crowd, and hates having to pretend he feels otherwise. What she wouldn't give to let him be himself and reveal what he really thinks of them. It would be a spectacular thing to witness.

“Once we have control of Vought I am going to crush them like the insignificant bugs they are, ” He promises, the loathing for them all is clear in his voice.

“But until that time we will smile and be charming, we will attend these events and try to have a good time, ” she says we but really means you and they both know it.

Madelyn has no doubt that she will be one day running Vought it was a matter of time and playing the long game. But until that time they need these people to achieve both their individual and joint goals.

* * *

“It's wonderful to see you, Madelyn, ” Amber declares, kissing her on both cheeks. On the inside, Madelyn recoils from the red-haired woman, but on the outside, she smiles and keeps her body relaxed.

There are several reasons she detests this woman, the first being that she takes every opportunity to try and screw her over.

Madelyn and Amber had started working at Vought around the same except Madelyn had excelled higher up than her, Amber had always been bitter over it. Amber lacked the drive, the skill, talent and ambition to reach the top.

“It's always a pleasure to see you too, Amber, ” Madelyn lies through her teeth, tucking her hair behind her ear as she hovers closer to Homelander who is silently watching the exchange.

He doesn't like her either which makes Madelyn love him more especially at this moment.

“I was saying to Tiffany, the other day I really hope Madelyn doesn't become one of those boring types who only ever goes on about her child, ” Amber declares, before taking a sip of champagne. “I just hate those types, ”.

Madelyn just carries on smiling but inside her head, she imagines shoving her off a cliff. She would never tell Amber about Ryan because she didn't have the right to hear about her son.

She thinks Homelander must have sensed that she wants to break Amber's neck because he places his hand on the palm of her back. It's strange to her when he's the calm and reasonable one in the relationship.

Madelyn has felt anger before, but this is a new form and she's not sure where it is coming from. But she continues to smile except it's a noticeable strained one.

“As magnificent as it talking to you to Amber, truly it's always a pleasure but Madelyn and I are wanted by Mr Edgar and you know it is never a good idea to keep him waiting, ” Homelander announces with a charming smile thrown Amber's way. “Will you excuse us?”.

* * *

Madelyn kisses Ryan on the head, smooches that make the baby laugh. He giggles with delight at three o'clock in the morning. Homelander hovers in the doorway watching her with him. He does that sometimes, just silently watches and she can never tell what he's thinking in those moments. Is he delighted or remembering how cold his own childhood was compared to his son's so far?

“Who is a good baby, ” she babbles. “That's right you are a good baby, ”.

They had only been back for an hour. Staying far later than either had intended at the event. Ryan's schedule was now all kilter and it would take days to get it back on track, but Madelyn wasn't worried about that right now.

“Where is Mr Panda?” she asks in the voice that people use for babies that prior to Ryan drove her up the wall. “Here he is, ”.

Ryan babbles of pleasure at seeing his favourite toy brings her mom guilt rising to the surface at leaving him all evening and most of the night. She had read someplace it was normal to experience this. Still, it doesn't make her feel any easier.

“You know he's never going to settle tonight, ” Homelander comments, he doesn't seem frustrated by this which she takes as a good sign that he isn't going to go middle of the night flying. “We might as well bring him downstairs for a little while with us. I don't know maybe we can watch a movie until the stink bug does seem ready to sleep, ”.

“Okay, but we are not watching another John Wayne movie. Pick something baby-friendly like the Wizard of OZ, ” Madelyn replies, pulling funny faces at Ryan.

“Sure a film where a girl murders two women and there are evil flying monkeys is child-friendly,” He says with arms folded across his chest in a sulk at not being able to watch one of his favourite films. “And that scarecrow is suspicious I don't know what is about him but I don't trust him, ”.

“Okay, we won't watch the Wizard of Oz but still no John Wayne movies,”


End file.
